The International Court of Football Justice
The Honourable Ralph Tucker
Jurisdiction: Netherlands Tour 2026 • Maximum Sentence: Laughter Only
Court Opens In:
📅 Thursday, 3rd April 2026 at 20:00
Jaz/Larni
U14 Warriors
Charged with:
BEING LATE TO MEET TIME FOR DINNER
🛡️ Defense Statement:
Still aren’t here
Submitted by: Anonymous
Submitted by: anonymous
Ralph T.
Coach
Charged with:
Didn’t get the players hyped up enough about entering the Netherlands.
🛡️ Defense Statement:
Ralph hyped the players up, the player failed to respond appropriately. They should be given a charge for failing to be exciting.
Submitted by: Anonymous
Submitted by: Anonymous
Damion
Coach
Charged with:
Sleeping straight up on the coach
Submitted by: ?
Jade
Parent/Spectator
Charged with:
Wanting to play K-pop demon hunters on the buss and interesting dance moves…
Submitted by: …
ian N.
Coach
Charged with:
making too many charges for other people and taking pictures on everyone’s phones
🛡️ Defense Statement:
Ian is super awesome coach, he is not guilty of all charges
Submitted by: Evie S, and all the U14’s
Submitted by: anonymous
Evie S.
U14 Warriors
Charged with:
Feet on the furniture
🛡️ Defense Statement:
Foot was on the bin. Bin was already dirty. And limited foot-room. Very creative solution.
Submitted by: Anonymous
Submitted by: Coach Ian NM
Chloe H.
U14 Warriors
Charged with:
Feet on the headrest, with an awful odour
🛡️ Defense Statement:
She had a shower unlike coach Ian so feet don’t produce an odour
Submitted by: Anonymous
Submitted by: Coach Ian NM
Annabelle V.
U14 Warriors
Charged with:
Resting too much on the coach.
🛡️ Defense Statement:
She was just tired after we had to wake up bright and early at 8 to leave 2 hours later from coach ian
Submitted by: Anonymous
Submitted by: Coach Ian NM
Lexi
U15 Warriors
Charged with:
Playing the harmonica at 5o’clock in the morning
🛡️ Defense Statement:
Excellent wake up. Didn’t want anybody to be late for breakfast.
Submitted by: Anonymous
Submitted by: U14
Chris E.
Coach
Charged with:
Unable to sit on a seat properly
🛡️ Defense Statement:
Should also be wearing a seatbelt
Submitted by: Anonymous
Submitted by: Anonymous
lily a.
U14 Warriors
Charged with:
knocked all of the drinks off the table and then fell off her chair
🛡️ Defense Statement:
Um actually the table was brokenn
Submitted by: Anonymous
Submitted by: anonymous
Emilia F.
U14 Warriors
Charged with:
Taking the peg game so seriously
🛡️ Defense Statement:
there is no defence , she went through bags and jumpers to take them
Submitted by: Anonymous
Submitted by: Annonymous
Paige W.
U15 Warriors
Charged with:
Failure to smile and show her face in photos.
Submitted by: Gemma Hale
Imogen C.
U14 Trojans
Charged with:
Excessive eating of Jelly pots at the Christmas Party
🛡️ Defense Statement:
it wasn’t all for imogen
Submitted by: Anonymous
Submitted by: Coach Ian NM
Jazmyn R.
U14 Trojans
Charged with:
Turning up to training without her Gloves as a goalkeeper.
Submitted by: Coach Ian NM
Poppy W.
U14 Warriors
Charged with:
Failure to enthusiastically shout Prestbury at fixtures.
Submitted by: Coach Ian NM
Lily-Mae B.
U14 Warriors
Charged with:
Drinking fountain chocolate from a pitcher at the Christmas Party. Photo evidence is available.
Submitted by: Coach Ian NM
Lacey D.
U14 Warriors
Charged with:
Failure to correctly tie boot laces at multiple fixtures.
Submitted by: Coach Ian NM
📜 Sample Fun Charges
- • Failure to tie laces before kick-off
- • Excessive goal celebration without VAR approval
- • Attempted nutmeg resulting in self-nutmeg
- • Claiming "handball" when it was your own hand
- • Mismatched socks (international fashion violation)
- • Taking 14 touches when 2 would do
- • Late to breakfast without tactical excuse
- • Bad dance moves in public
🔨 Possible Sentences
- • Perform a 10-second victory dance
- • Demonstrate a celebration gone wrong
- • Do your best referee impression
- • Say 3 nice things about a teammate
- • Lead a team chant
- • Name 5 Dutch football facts
- • Explain the offside rule in 10 seconds
- • Re-enact charge in slow motion